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Sunday, June 15, 2008

How to be a Good Husband?

This post is a part of June 2008 Blogchain of Absolute Write. I am a bit confused about what to write. Snowflake has talked about her memory of watching a documentary about concentration camps that she saw when she was 14 years old. Her question was that if we needed to see images of horrible events at an early age? I think that we need to do so because real world is not rosy. I am at a loss about which topic to write. Then, I decided to write about marriage and couple life.

I am happily married for a bit more than 2 years. I think that much of the credit goes to my wife for that. She is a dedicated a devoted wife. I don’t want to claim that I am a good husband as I know that I am not a good husband. In fact, my goal is not to become a good husband. I know my limitations as a man and as a human being. My sole focus is not to become a bad husband.

I would not say that I am selfish but I am terrible when it comes to doing household chores. I cannot cook anything, I feel very lazy and out of energy whenever I have to do any kind of washing (dishes or clothes). I am also terrible in cleaning the floor. So, my wife has to do all of them and she does it day after day. Sometimes, I feel bad about it despite the fact that my wife hardly complains. I know that I have a good excuse that I have to work 10-14 hours a day (7 days a week) and that is why I cannot give time for any house chore but I do not feel satisfied with this excuse. I think that this discomfort feeling keeps me away from becoming a bad husband.

On the other hand, I always try to appreciate my wife for all her dedications. This always brings happiness for her and I become very happy to see her happy. Once a week, I try to bring outside food (from restaurants and food shops) so that she does not need to cook. This is perhaps the maximum I do to help her- give her one day off. So, you can see that I am in no way an ideal or perfect husband. The only time, I really try to do household works is when she is sick.

I try to appreciate and admire my wife as much as I can. This is perhaps the only good part of me as a husband. I really admire her from my heart and she knows and she has already experienced that even if she gains another extra 20 pounds it is no problem at all for me. The same goes for her too. I get a lot of admiration and respect from her. After 2 years of a happy couple life, I feel that this is the most important thing in any marriage- admire and respect each other from heart. So, I know that despite all of my limitations and negative aspects as a man and husband, there is something to cheer about everyday.

6 years ago, we met each other through Internet and we are from two different countries. We had to wait 3 and half years just to see each other in real life. Both of us had to do a lot of sacrifices and adjustments for our marriage and couple life (mainly because we are from two different countries with different languages, cultures). This is the background history of our marriage.

I started this entry with a question: how to be a good husband? Well, my conclusion is that becoming a good husband is a very difficult thing and is not possible for most men no matter how much they are romantic and passionate. However, it is possible for each and every man on earth to become a not-bad husband if they are ready to do some adjustments from their heart. Am I right?

As, I stated earlier that this is a part of June 2008 Blogchain of Absolute Write. So, I am giving a list of all the participating blogs here:

Spittin’ (Out Words) Like a Llama
Polyamory
Life in Scribbletown
Polenth’s Quill
Auria Cortes
Blog in a Suitcase
Delirious
Asian Business
If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.
As Yet Untitled
Puttin’ Words on Paper
Fumbling with Fiction
Rotating Bear
spynotes
Virtual Wordsmith

I think that it is turn of Bookdragonette in If you ask me anything I don’t know, I’m not going to answer.

9 comments:

Miss Lissy said...

I really liked this post. You can see the love you have for you wife through it.

rosemerry said...

My dad is american and my stepmom is from the Philippines. If you don't mind my asking which countries do you and your wife come from?

Razib Ahmed said...

I am from South Asia and my wife is from Central Asia

Samuel Tinianow said...

It sounds like you're a better husband than you think. :-)

Snowflake said...

I think you're a pretty good husband at least you try all the time and that's worth the world.

FreshHell said...

it's difficult to balance work load - in and outside the home. There's no one right way to do it. Depends on what you and your wife have decided will work for you. Communication's the key.

auria cortes said...

I know so many people who are met on the Internet and are married.

I think there is rarely a good spouse. Only good enough ones. And more often than not, that is enough.

Although I'm not married. So what do I know?

Elrena said...

I'd say the amount of thought you're putting into being a not-bad husband means you're well on your way...maybe even to being a good husband! :)

colbymarshall said...

I agree- balancing the workload can be tough. My husband and I try to trade off chores, but somehow one of us always get stuck doing more. Luckily, the next week the other one will pick up the slack, so it works itself out.