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Wednesday, March 01, 2006

6 Strategies that will help you to make a Balance between your Career and Marriage

The art of making a balance between career and spouse is a problem that almost everyone faces in every country. Often, this problem torments a couple to the extreme point of getting divorce. In this article I am going to mention some strategies that may help you to make a balance between your career and your spouse. I know it will be very difficult to follow and implement all of them. Still, the more you will try the better result you will get. After all, it is very important to shine in both the fields- in the office and home.

Accept it as a Serious Problem
This is perhaps the major mistake that most people do. They do not try to discover the problem in the first place and even after their husband or wife draws their attention, they just ignore it. Two reasons are commonly behind such ignoring. Firstly, they may grudge in their heart or openly that whatever they are trying hard in their office it is only for their future and couple life. The second reason is related to the blame game. They may feel that if they accept the accusation of their spouse about neglecting couple life they will accept guilt and they will lose their honor. Refusing to accept it as a problem will only deepen the crisis further. Instead of pacifying the pain of the spouse it will only increase. So, whenever your husband or wife complains about it, the first thing you should do is to accept it as a problem even if you feel that you are 100% right. The worst thing you can do to endanger your marriage is to take this problem casually as it would only increase the grievance of your partner.

Talk about the problem
In the second step, try to talk about the problem. This can surely go a long way to pacify the tension in home because then your spouse will feel that you are giving importance to him/her. Try to explain your condition in office. At the same time, listen to his/her complains very carefully. It is a reality that not everyone is a good communicator. If you feel that you and your spouse are not very good in talking about a problem then you can go to a marriage counselor. However, it is very important to remember that you must be attentive and sincere to listen to what your spouse says.

Try to Find a Middle Ground
Finding a middle ground is very difficult but not impossible. Try to think of the ways that can help both of you to come to a satisfactory compromise. If possible talk to your office and get more time for your home. Weekends can be the best resource for this matter. If you have any habit of going to stadium or hanging out with your friends then leave them and try to give uninterrupted and undivided attention to your spouse in the weekends.

Do not try to buy out your spouse
Many men do this silly mistake of trying to buy out their wives with expensive gifts. A new car or a diamond necklace is always welcomed by 99% women but can never be an alternative to the love and attention of their husband. If you can really please your wife by giving expensive gifts instead of your love and dedication, you are perhaps among the unluckiest men in the world.

Do not get addicted to your career and money
There is a clear distinction between dedication and addiction to your career. Dedication in this case means doing your work honestly and sincerely. Addiction means focusing on the career totally at the expense of everything else. Money is perhaps the most important thing in life but all problems arise when we make it as the only important thing. Think of your first days with your spouse after marriage. Think of the things that can make your spouse happy and try to act that way.

Never Take Marriage as a Habit
We are always so eager to train ourselves in a way that we can adjust to the changing scenario and condition in our office. Every year, we are joining a seminar or participating in a new training course so that we can become more skilled workers. Why should you not do the same thing for your marriage? Like office, marriage needs everyday effort. When you are late in office everyone gets annoyed from you no matter what excuse you come up with for your delay. The same way, your spouse will get hurt if you neglect him/her. Like attending a seminar, every year take your spouse to a new place and have a time like your honeymoon. A marriage dies when the husband and the wife take it as a habit and take each other for granted.

There is no point in excelling in career at the expense of marriage. Following the above mentioned 6 strategies will help any person to make a balance between career and marriage. However, only reading is not enough- there must be a determined resolve to act.

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